still alive

Dan & I are working diligently on a full-illustrated version of Spooks in the Deep to publish.

we’re aboooouuuuuut halfway done, and I gotta say, it’s lookin’ beautiful.

that’ll be available in paperback/kindle on Amazon and as a .pdf directly from us.

stay spooky.


Harry Potter: The Boy Who Lived to Die Another Day full pdf- FREE!

let’s face facts. JK Rowling dropped the ball with the HP universe. Thank God we’re here to pick up the pieces.

The full version of Harry Potter: The Boy Who Lived to Die Another Day is available for free now.

download and enjoy! Slap it on an e-reader, or just read it on your phone or pc.

the story will continue in “Chamber of Voldemorts”, some of which can be found in the “In Progress” section on the sidebar.

Spooks in Space part XVII

Rob dove from the Space-helicopter like a professional diver, except instead of diving into water, he was diving into the atmosphere of a spooky planet shaped like a skull that was on fire.

And unlike a diver, he was no ottermode twink, but a hulking Super Space Marine, the most powerful soldier known to the Universe.

Suddenly, an even more powerful soldier that would henceforth be known to the Universe intercepted him in midair.

It was an Ultra-Skeleton Marine, with a jetpack! And not just one, but two. They grabbed Rob by his arms and lifted him away from Planet Bones, and back into space.

“This is bullshit!” cried Rob, struggling in vain.

“Foolish pathetic idiot ignorant human, did you really think that you’d ever be able to become stronger than us? We are the ultimate beings in this Universe!” the cackled, and they threw him into a star.

“ROB, NOOOOOOOOOOO!” cried Raymond, forced to watch from the King Skeleton’s Bone-Palace, through a telescope.

“See that, boy?” laughed King Skeleton, “Your only hope of rescue has been flung into a star! Lmao!”

Meanwhile, back on the space-helicopter, everyone was horrified to see the only Super-Space Marine so easily thrown into a star, by such horrifying foes as the Ultra-Skeleton Marines, who were now flying straight toward them with their jetpacks.

“We’ve got to get out of here!” cried Space Marine #1, “Irish Pilot, engage the Fucking Leave Drive!”

“Damn those skeletons! Damn them all to hell!” roared Space Marine #3.

Asia Bones shot him a deadly, spooky look, but deep inside, he was more disappointed in his own bony-people.

“NO! NO! I’m going to try to reason with them!” he announced, and jumped out of the space-helicopter.

“Asia Bones, noooooooooooooo!!!” cried Rasta Rick, “Dey’ll trow you into da star like young Rober’!”

But Asia Bones had no fear in his bony heart, and as he was grabbed by the two Ultra-Skeleton Marines, he suddenly got like that power from Shadow of Mordor lmao where he can mind-control them or whatever, and he placed his bony hands on the back of their heads.

“I AM ASIA BONES, THE GREATEST SKELETON-MARTIAL ARTIST IN THE WORLD, AND I DEMAND YOUR COMPLIANCE!” he said sternly, and the Ultra-Skeleton Marines were then under his control.

“Take me to your king!” he demanded, and they began flying him toward the Bone-Palace.

“What the hell did I just see?” asked Irish Pilot, disengaging the FLD.

“It be old juju,” said Rasta Rick wisely, “Ahve only seenit ah few times in mah life…

Dah old Masta’s got powa over da spirit’a livin’ tings. Dats how ‘e helped me escape. Ees truly inspirin’”

“That may be so,” said Space Marine #3, “But the King Skeleton is a gigantic asshole. I doubt he’ll be so easily swayed.”

“If that’s the case, surely Asia could just beat the shit out of him?” asked Space Marine #1, “I mean, he’s the greatest martial-artist who ever lived, right?”

“One ‘a da greatest for sure,” said Rasta Rick, looking down solemnly, “But so many skeletons know karate now’days, it be foolish ta takeit for granted.”

“We’ve got to get down there and help him, somehow!” said Irish Pilot.

“No mon… if ‘e turns off da fire-valve, we’ll know. But now? All we cahn do now es wait…”

Filled Her With the Power of Darkness

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Voldemorts part 6

Ron Weasle’s ghost was very pleased with himself.

“I’m so happy Harry Potter’s going to die 🙂 ” he said.

he started dancing, and Voldemort joined in. Albus Potter, psyched to kill his dad, started showing off with his katana and did some sick spins and flips.

but? Snape would have none of this.

“You’ve all forgotten about me, the best potion master who ever lived.”

“Big deal,” said Voldemort, “What can a stupid potion do to stop me now?”

“This,” said Snape, and he drank one and turned into a DINOSAUR SNAPE

“Tyrannosaurus Snape” said Voldemort knowingly, “They said it was just a myth. The perfect magical predator. Agile, quick, with a fashionable black cape and arms long enough to reach out and throttle its prey.”

“What will we do master?!” shrieked Peter Rattigrew.

“What do you mean WE?” demanded Voldemort and he tossed the giant rat-man into the arms of Tyrannosaurus Snape, and the two began to duke it out. But Tyrannosaurus Snape had the upper hand because dinosaurs are stronger than rats, scientifically speaking.

“ALBUS QUICK, you must kill your father before its tool late!!!” screamed Ghost-Weasel, and he held Harry Potter down with his ghost-powers.


“NO I CAN ALSO DEFEAT HIM!” shrieked Tyrannosaur Snape, ripping out Ratman’s throat with his monstrous chompers.

“Great, then I can do this without consequence!” smiled Albus, and he stabbed Harry in the chest with his lightning katana.

“YESSS!” cried Ron Weasley’s ghost, weeping tears of joy.

but something was wrong. Harry Potter just started laughing.

he looked up and spoke.

“Dumbledor… turn off my pain inhibitors…”

“Are you sure, Harry?” said Dumbledore over the radio.

“DO ITTT.” said Harry, and he tore the katana out his chest,


“Oh no he’s a cyborg ninja!!!” shrieked Voldemort and he grabbed his broomstick and tried to fly away.


but Hary grabbed his leg and slammed him into the ground.

Voldemort coughed up blood and reached out to Albus.

“Don’t let him kill me!” he cried.

Harry held his sword at Voldemort’s throat. Albus cried out to his father.

“You can’t kill him! I need him!”

Harry Potter looked at his son sternly.

“He’s too dangerous to be left alive,” he said wisely.

“Albus… Albus,” coughed Voldemort, “if you let your dad kill me, Delphi will never bang you.”


“You are so full of shit,” wept Harry, and he began to swing his sword– but something stopped him.