Spooks in the Deep XII: The Fellowship of the Skeleton Pirates

Without another “Arrr”, the two skeleton pirate captains lunged at each other, in a furious clash of bones and steel.

Captain Blackbones wielded a terrifyingly sharp blade, which swiftly danced around Redbones’s huge mace, but was unable to pass through to its owner.

The battle raged for hours, with many skellies taking short naps or sipping cups of tea or bottles of whiskey.

Rasta Rick rolled a massive blunt so magical that everyone on board got a contact high. But it did not quell the rage of the two pirate captains, each determined to be captain of the Queen Bones.

After several more hours, Redbones began to tire. He was swinging a huge goddamn mace around, after all.

Blackbeard ducked under one final swing, and kicked Redbones over unto his back. He was just about to deliver the fatal blow, when Redmond of all people pulled Blackbones’s fucking skull right off his shoulders.

Everyone gasped.

“Excuse me, what the fuck are you doing?” roared Blackbones.

“I’m not going to let this fighting go on any longer!” cried Redmond. “As you dumb fucking pirates quarrel over a dead ship, the Shark Priestess is preparing to come for all of our hides!”

“Redmond speaks da truth, mon!” cheered Rasta Rick, literally lying floating on a cloud of the dankest kush.

“Aarrrrrr, the boy be right, Blackbones.” arrr’d Redbones, getting to his feet. “Forget the Queen Bones, there’ll be no ship nor sea for any of us if the Shark Priestess is allowed to swim!”

Blackbones’s skull stared long and hard at Redbones, searching for any hint of insincerity.

“What be ye pre-posin’?” he said finally.

“An alliance of bony pirates.” replied Redbones plainly. “We sail right into the Shark Priestess’s home, and make shark fin soup of ’em all! And when our common threat is gone, we can resume our fighting for this ship.”

“Arrrrrrrrrr, so be it, Redbones. But if I detect a hint ‘o mutiny, I’ll be throwing you all overboard meself, and the Queen Bones will be mine all the sooner!”

“What the fuck is so special about this ship?” whispered Redmond to Asia Bones. “It’s grounded, isn’t it?”

“Redmond, your ignorance never ceases to surprise me.” sighed Asia Bones, as Rasta Rick touched ground and raised his hands high into the air.

“Den der it is, mon!” laughed Rasta Rick, and his dreadlocks vibrated as the ship rose into the air, off of its fortress-like perch, and into the water. “Let’s get ‘ta sailin!”

The skeleton pirates all cheered, and Redmond suddenly felt much better about their odds. They now had a small army of pirates to take on the Shark Men.

“Lad?” asked Captain Blackbones.

“Yes?” asked Redmond, vacantly. Asia Bones sighed.

“Can ye put my fucking skull back on to me body?”

Redmond rushed to do so, as the skellie seadogs rushed around the ship, preparing for the journey.

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