The Boy Who Refused to Stop Burping

I’m working on a longer & more serious story at the moment, so posts will be slightly less frequent.

in the meantime, please enjoy this story about a boy who refused to stop burping…

 

Little Tommy Turrell refused to stop burping.

His mother asked him politely several times.

But he refused.

His father beat the crap out of him with a belt.

But he burped with each blow.

Finally, his parents were left with no choice.

They were having company over for supper.

And they couldn’t allow their crappy son to ruin everyone’s good time with his foul manners.

So they sent Tommy to his room, and painted a “B” on his door in the blood of a virgin sheep.

The sheep was not harmed, they just used a needle to get enough blood to paint with, and gave the sheep a cookie.

The sheep was happy.

The same could not be said about little Tommy when the Noise Collector appeared in a poof of dust inside his room.

Tommy began to sneeze from the dust,

but the Noise Collector lunged at Tommy with his index finger extended, zapping Tommy with some kind of funky blue ray.

Tommy sneezed, but no sound was made.

The Noise Collector bent down and put his shriveled hand on Tommy’s shoulder.

“You did this to yourself, you little shit. I have literally no sympathy for you,” he said sympathetically.

And with that, he picked Tommy up, and body-slammed him into the door- which was the signal to let the parents know that his work was complete.

Tommy spun around and gazed at him in utter shock, crying silently.

The Noise Collector flipped him the bird, and jumped out his window, stealing several of Tommy’s favorite toys.

The dinner went splendidly.

The End.

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