Harry Potter: The Boy Who Lived to Die Another Day

Harry and Ron woke up next to each other in a daze. (FANGS for the opening line, Rob, you ROCK!)

“Oi, ‘Arry, what ‘appened, then?” said Ron, with a British accent because Harry Potter takes place in British.

“I don’t know, Ron, but I know one thing! Voldemort’s back again!”

then Hagrid walked over.

“WE’RE IN GRINGOTTS, THE WIZARD BANK! I BROUGHT YOU TWO HEERE BECAUSE I REALLY THINK IT’S REALLY  SAFE!!”

“OI, GOOD THINKING, HAGRID!” accented Ron.

Harry got to his feet and looked around. It was indeed Gringotts, and he knew because he had been here before and so remembered what it looks like.

“HARRY, VOLDEMORT ALMOST KILLED YOU IN YOUR SLEEP, BUT THE AURORS SAVED YOU AND I BROUGHT YOU ON MY MAGICAL MOTORCYCLE TO SAFETY! AND RON TOO, BECAUSE I KNOW HE’S YOUR FRIENDS AND I LIKE HIM ALSO AS A PERSON!!!”

“Oi, thanks Hagrid!” thanked Weasely, gratefully.

“I BELIVE IN YOU HARRY, ONLY YOU CAN STOP VOLDEMORY ONCE AGAIN BY USING THE POWER OF YOUR PARENTS’ LOVE~!” shouted Hagrid with pride.!!

and he picked up Harry and hugged him like a really big loving friend might pick up and hug a much smaller friend that he cares for deeply.

and then the ghost of Professor Snape apparated in front of all of them.

“Haaaaaarryyyyy!” he haunted, “I believe in you as well and I hope you succeed because as you know, I was a nice guy after aAAaAaaAaaaall!!!”

Harry shook his hand and thanked him for his kind worse. and then Snape disapeared mysteriously.

“Now I must go and kill Voldemort again for the final time!”

“BUT IT WONT BE SO EASY THIS TIME, HARRY!” thundered Hagrid!

“Oi, whar are yew talkin’ about’Agrid?’ askeed Ronald?

“‘TELL YOU WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ‘BOUT!” said Hagrid “Rob, I’m writing this because I feel like I should pick up where JK Rowling dropped the ball and it deflated.” Any other questions? No because you’re just going to type them in aren’t you? Yes, I am. Fucking stenographer.

“BECAUSE NOW VOLDEMORYT  HAS A LOT MORE HORCRUXES!! THAN HE EVER DID BEFORE BECAUSE HE GREW MORE POWERFUL IN THE WHITE PLACE!!!” boomed Hagrdi with much concern.

“That’s not a problem for me. I’m the boy who lived, and I’ll keep on living until my job is done!” said Harry Piotter. “Voledoryt’s horcruxes are no match for my special wand!”

“YOU DON’T GET IT DO YOU HARRY?” ROARED HAGRID SADLY

“I AM A HORCRUX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

TO BE CONTINUED…

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