Ron Weasle’s ghost was very pleased with himself.
“I’m so happy Harry Potter’s going to die 🙂 ” he said.
Ratman Perrigrew grabbed a student and started screaming in his face “TELL ME WHERE THE ROOM OF REPRODUCTION ISSS”
the student pissed his pants and said “it’s on the third floor”
“OK THANKS” and Rattigrew threw him through the ceiling, and took out his walkie-talkie.
Albus Potter had just been expelled from Hogwarts for kissing his mom.
What Co-Headmasters Harry Potter and Severus Snape didn’t know was that Ginny Weasley wasn’t really Ginny Weasley, but Voldemort’s own daughter with her hair dyed red.
“Professor, I saw you die!”
“You saw a snake bite me, Potter” spat the unkillable Potions Master. “I always kept an antidote for Nagananaiai’s venom lmao.
“Mr. Potter, we need your help.”
“You’d better have a damn good reason for calling me, Barrack.”
“Terrorists are terrorizing the world.”
“I don’t care.”
“They’re being led by someone you know, Mr. Potter.”
“Don’t tell me–”
“That’s right. Hagrid.”
Harry sensed a disturbance in the Force and hung up the phone and jumped out the window on to the rain-slicked streets of London. He drew his pistol from his ankle-holster.
His phone started ringing. Harry ignored it, and looked up into the sky.
To his horror, there was a flying motorcycle being driven by none-other than his dead half-giant guardian, Hagrid.
“HARRYYyyY!” howled Hagrid, “I’m going to get my revenge on you for killing me in Harry Potter: The Boy Who Lived to Die Another Day!!!”
Harry shot the motorcycle in teh wheel, and it spun out of control.
“WhoOOoAAa!” shouted Hagrid.
Harry took a deep breath and took out his rocket-launcher.\
“HAGRID, DON’T MAKE ME KILL YOU.”
“What?!” said Hagrid, “That’s impossible, I’m already dead!”
Harry Potter fired his rocket launcher and said “Then this one’s on the house.”
Hagrid exploded and OBama called again.
“I solved your crisis, Barrack,” Harry said, “Now you’re going to tell me what I want to know.”
“Anything, Mr. Potter.”
“Where is Voldemort hiding his Atomic Kedavra bomb??? I know he’s responsible for Hagrid turning to the Dark Side.”
“I’ll tell you in the next chapter, Mr. Potter.”
To Be COntinued…